Prayers For Michaela and Haiti - The Sum Of Light

Dialogue Between:

Billy Kwan, seasoned freelance photo-journalist based in Jakarta, Indonesia

Guy Hamilton, Journalist, neophyte, foreign correspondent from Australia

BILLY: And the people asked him, saying, what shall we do then?

GUY: What's that?

BILLY: It's from Luke, chapter three, verse ten. What then must we do? Tolstoy asked the same question. He wrote a book with that title. He got so upset about the poverty in Moscow that he went one night into the poorest section and just gave away all his money. You could do that now. Five American dollars would be a fortune to one of these people.

GUY: Wouldn't do any good, just be a drop in the ocean.

BILLY: Ahh, that's the same conclusion Tolstoy came to. I disagree.

GUY: Oh, what's your solution?

BILLY: Well, I support the view that you just don't think about the major issues. You do whatever you can about the misery that's in front of you. Add your light to the sum of light. You think that's naive, don't you?

GUY: Yep.

BILLY: It's alright, most journalists do.

GUY: We can't afford to get involved.

- From The Year of Living Dangerously (1982)

Denver - I was here to bask in the 50-degree heat before returning to the Grand Icebox, I mean Valley, tonight. I had a good interview today, but was kind of dismayed when on the way here the temperature in Vail was higher than it was in Grand Junction.

Combined with the inversion-induced haze largely obscuring Grand Mesa from town, the current weather in GJ reminds me of the surroundings at a structure fire on a cold winter evening. All of the snow and ice that collectively refuses to melt on the yards and streets seem to serve the same purpose as the output of hoses that freezes and accumulates on the sides of buildings, overhead wires and poles, dropping the temperature in the immediate area of the scene by at least 15 degrees. Now there's a possible reason for the City and County to get the ice off of the side streets; maybe it'll help warm things up.

Considering the futility of complaining about the weather, I want to start reflecting on some past blog topics by revisiting the struggle of my fiancee Leslie's youngest daughter, Michaela. Nearly two years ago I wrote about Michaela's fight with neuroblastoma, described in medical literature as "the most common extracranial solid cancer in children".

In February 2008, Michaela had surgery to remove a tumor in her chest cavity. Since that surgery, oncologists at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh have used different standard combinations of chemotherapy and other drugs to try to keep the spread of tumor cells at bay. This included, most recently, enrolling Michaela in a clinical trial for an experimental medication that held promise in reducing the spread of these cells.

Monitoring the presence of neuroblastoma cells is aided by the use of what is called an MIBG scan. MIBG is a substance that binds to these cancer cells, and when combined with radioactive iodine will make them light up on a nuclear medicine scan.

Recently, additional small tumors were discovered again in Michaela's chest. This return of 'active disease' disqualified her from the clinical trial, and the doctors at CHP stated they had no other viable treatment options available at their facility. Leslie began searching for different appropriate treatments, and found one being done at only a few hospitals around the country.

This type of therapy involves using the same MIBG used to track the growth of neuroblastoma, but instead of just serving as a marker a different radioactive iodine is used to essentially deliver radiation treatments directly to the cancer cells.

Michaela had this procedure done today at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. She and Leslie will be in the oncology wing there until at least next Monday. Leslie was detailing to me today all of the protocols and precautions being taken for a patient treated with this type of radiation. This includes an isolation-type environment; Leslie must wear a dosimeter badge when in the room, to measure how much radiation she is being exposed to while caring for Michaela.
Michaela will go back home, and have follow-up care in March. It is hoped that all of this will slow or stop the tumor growth.

Michaela has been in the loop for all of the discussions about her care; Leslie makes sure that she is as informed as an 8-year-old can be. While we're all hopeful for some measure of success, the somber realization of what happens if it isn't has an unspoken presence in the lives of Michaela and those around her. Leslie has only been able to work sporadically while caring for Michaela; tangible support in many forms has come from neighbors, loved ones, Michaela's school classmates, and the community at large.

One day at a time, moving forward, keeping fear at bay.

The photo of Michaela above was taken this past October. She's a vibrant, curious child who deserves every chance she can possibly have at survival. Your addition to the sum of light in the form of prayers for success in her treatment are most appreciated.

Strip away the ignoble and miniscule scale of complaints about how cold it is in Grand Junction. Those of us who have had cancer in our lives know the personal pain and tragedy involved not only with addressing the needs of an ill loved one, but trying to maintain a stable existence in the meantime.

Superimpose over these personal trials the mass suffering in Haiti, and it's easy to see how one's heartstrings are tugged upon at varying and sundry degrees and amounts on a daily basis.

The snippet of screenplay at the top of this post is from one of my all-time favorite films. I have a hard time with those who have leveled complaints about the non-stop media coverage of the carnage in Haiti, as well as the comments made by the likes of Pat Robertson and Rush Limbaugh. A fair question here; if you aren't adding to the sum of light, are you contributing to the darkness?

Last night I added my tangible light to that gathering for Haiti, directly through the Red Cross website. I'll add those intangible thoughts and prayers as I make my way back to the Western Slope tonight, while I'm talking with Leslie when she takes a break. She can't use a cell phone when she's wearing her dosimeter - it affects the accuracy of the instrument. Isn't that special..

I hope that all of you reading this have some light to share, in whatever way you can.

Have a good evening.

Prayers For Michaela - The Road Home

Leetsdale, PA - As many of you know from either conversations with me or through several posts here, my fiancee Leslie has two daughters. The youngest, Michaela, has been fighting neuroblastoma, an aggressive cancer involving nerve cells, since December of 2005. Michaela has endured two major operations, stem cell and bone marrow transplants, extensive radiation and chemotherapy, and most recently some specialized radiation treatments in an attempt to arrest this disease.

When I left Pittsburgh around a month ago, Michaela was in the same general condition as when I had seen her in late March. She was still struggling with nausea and vomiting, resulting in a considerable loss of weight. At the same time she would also have good days, wanting to be more active, willing and able to hold down some of her favorite foods.

The big difference in Michaela's disposition was that she felt too weak to walk long distances. Leslie got her a portable wheelchair, which helped a great deal. In this photo Michaela is looking at a statue of a Triceratops covered with small toys, many of them dating from my childhood. I saw lots of green plastic army men in there..

Recent GI studies to attempt to ascertain the cause of Michaela's vomiting located a narrowing of one of the loops of her small intestine. Michaela's surgeon was hesitant to proceed without some additional nutritional support. With that plan in mind, Michaela checked into Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh in mid-May to begin Total Parenteral Nutrition (TPN), in hopes of building her up to a point where she could safely endure an exploratory procedure.
After admission, a CT Scan of Michaela's abdomen revealed extensive new tumor growth throughout.

After the scan, Michaela started having more difficulty with pain. Leslie and Michaela elected to go home with the TPN, pain meds, and hospice care. She has lost more weight in the past month.

Getting Michaela to and from Children's almost every day has been a difficult task for Leslie. Michaela has two portable IV pumps, and needs the wheelchair as well. Like any sick child, her patience is limited, and those around her can be subjected to the effects. Leslie is excelling in her role as a full-time caregiver, but is plainly exhausted by the end of the day.

On top of these harsh realities comes the stark realization that Michaela could soon lose her battle, and be called home.

Since I got back here last week, I've been helping with general household duties and assisting Leslie with the almost daily trips to Children's for radiation treatments, as well as occasional transfusions of blood or platelets. Michaela's body may be weakening, but her spirit and belief in God do not appear to have been shaken by her experiences in fighting cancer, and tolerating the treatment regimen that may be arguably as taxing on the body and spirit as the cancer itself.

I initially thought that being in Leslie's position in terms of having lost a loved one to cancer would help me understand things better, especially since both of us have teenagers that have also been affected by this illness. I find myself feeling at times inadequate to the task, primarily because I'm not here as much as I should be, but also because it's a child that is suffering.

This inadequacy may also be an extension of feelings that have affected my relationship with Leslie, related to distance, logistics, and bringing two families together through hardships past and present.

So I'm here to help, learn, adapt, and most importantly, love. As Michaela's struggle continues, so does the need to deal with medical and other expenses that have been steadily building up over the course of her illness and treatment. Those of you with the resources to assist in this area can send your donations to:

Michaela Russo Care Fund Trust

c/o Dollar Bank

P.O. Box 765

Pittsburgh, PA 15230-0765

Thanks very much, and have a good week ahead.

Prayers for Michaela

I was trying to finish a post this morning about Groundhog Day, but I ran out of time. Thankfully, Gene Kinsey took care of what I wanted to say anyway. This is a good thing because life has taken my focus in another direction that is a good deal more urgent and potentially serious than some party in Punxsutawney.

I was out with Evan at the mall today when Leslie called me from Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. She had taken her 6 year old daughter Michaela there this morning. Michaela is a cancer survivor; she had a neuroblastoma removed from the area of her stomach and liver, and since the beginning of 2006 has endured chemotherapy, radiation, and a stem cell transplant, along with the usual blood work, scans, and trips to the hospital. Along with Leslie and her older sister Gianna, Michaela got to visit here last August, and in November she got to go to Las Vegas to see the PBR World Finals, which was her wish through the Make-A-Wish Foundation.

This morning Leslie called me and said that Michaela had been having increasing pain in her chest, so she took her to Children's. X-Rays and CT Scans showed a new mass in the area of her mediastinum, and enlarged lymph nodes in her abdomen, near her liver. Leslie brought her home tonight, with a planned return to the hospital on Monday for a likely biopsy and additional evaluation.

I'm not sure what else to say right now, except that I feel very much like I did when Jan's cancer started to progress again after nine months of holding it at bay, and when she had her stroke last March. I'm quietly hopeful for strength and healing, but also respectful of God's plan for this lovely little girl and her family.

I'll go to church tomorrow morning and ask for these these things, while reminding myself that acceptance of God's will is part of the path. Right now I'm going to bed. I'm very tired. Below I have included a somewhat familiar verse that feels appropriate.

Please keep Michaela in your prayers as well. Thanks.

Isaiah 40:28-31 (New International Version)

28 Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

29 He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

30 Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Answered Prayers and Accepting Loss

As much as the world appeared transfixed by the rescue of the 33 miners in Chile over the last day or so, I was impressed more with the quiet resolve of the rescue crew as they went about their work, saving the fanfare for the moment when each of the trapped miners made their way to the surface. A friend of mine put it nicely in an e-mail last night:

While we all are thankful for the answered prayers for the 33 miners from Chile safely out of the mine, we need to take a moment and focus on the 5 rescuers who willingly allowed themselves to be put down the mine, not knowing whether the rescue mission would succeed or whether the first attempt would cave in the mine and they all would die?  God Bless Them!  They are the personification of those we take for granted daily:  our police, our fireman our paramedics and EMT's.  How many of us do as great a job of walking in the path of Jesus?

She made a great point; it takes a great deal of individual resolve - call it faith, perhaps - to function as a responder in today's world, without succumbing to cynicism or outright contempt for many of the people that come into contact with responders and rescuers every day. To quote The Matrix, "there's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path". 

Leslie and I spoke briefly about the miners last night. I'm grateful for their rescue, and while I hope that they can someday tell their stories to an undoubtedly curious world, I also agree with Leslie that they should be left alone until they're comfortable in doing so on their own.

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While celebrating the seeming result of the collective prayers of the world, I must also reflect on the recent loss of another child to cancer.

Jake Hubsch, along with his parents Don and Erica and siblings Aesha and Fletcher, were neighbors and friends of Leslie, Gianna, and Michaela. Jake lost his battle with cancer last Saturday at the age of 10. 

I did not know Jake and his family as well as Leslie did, although our paths did cross more than once at Children's Hospital while both he and Michaela were there, and the family came to help remember Michaela after her passing in July.

Jake's life will be celebrated this evening at St. Stephen's Church in Sewickley, PA.

The worldly side of me laments at the number of people I have personally known and loved that have been taken from this world by cancer, especially children. Despite these feelings, I must also resolve myself to quietly accept the outcome, to be a better steward of God's love for all those He created, and be an instrument of His peace for anyone that He places in the path He has set before me.

These are easy words to type, to know...not so easy to walk.

My thoughts and prayers are with Jake's family.

Have a good day.

A Cacophony of Grief and Hope

Leetsdale, PA - I arrived here Friday afternoon and found Leslie and Gianna in fairly good spirits, but perhaps a little overwhelmed by the level and amount of telephone calls and in-person visits that were coming from all over the local area and beyond. This continued largely unabated through Monday, until Leslie was able to meet with her pastor and the funeral director to finalize those arrangements.

The response from the local community to Michaela's passing has been extraordinary and humbling. To this end I will defer to the following links for those wishing to know more of Michaela and what is being done for her family:

• Leslie has maintained a page for Michaela on the CarePages website, which is sponsored in part by Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. The site requires a free registration to view Michaela's page. Clicking here will take you to the correct place to register, sign in, and view Leslie's entries and photos from over the years.


• Michaela's obituary has been published online in the Beaver County / Allegheny Times, and is available by clicking here. Visitation will be tomorrow, with funeral services and burial on Thursday. Thursday's Sewickley Herald is also expected to have a story about Michaela.


• The community of Leetsdale is coming together to assist Leslie and Gianna, this time with a Celebration of Life benefit for Michaela's care fund. A Facebook page has been created for the event with additional details.

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Even though my life here has taken the bulk of my recent time and attention, I received word yesterday about the passing of Chris Bryson, a Grand Junction firefighter who had waged a courageous battle with Leukemia for several years. I worked with Chris' wife Meredith at the Grand Junction 9-1-1 center.

I saw Chris most recently at Cabela's, where he worked for a time at the gun counter. We spoke during the training sessions before the store opened, and he shared some interesting things with me on how he was coping with the treatments, the travel, and the other rituals, both small and large, of life with cancer. His disposition seemed strong, and I felt better for having spent time with him. My thoughts and prayers go out to Chris' family, friends, and co-workers.

More visitors and things to do. Have a good rest of your week.

An Up and Down Week

I normally don't get too pessimistic after a work week has concluded. I generally try to calmly understand that a lot of what impacts my life is really outside my ability to control, even if I have contributed to some of it.

Nonetheless, this week has been tough. All of this is not that big a deal to me, as I know that I am alive, reasonably healthy, and loved. I know that I need to be strong for my boy and for myself, with compassion and caring for others who are close to me. Still, there's been some tough stuff among a few nuggets of good this week:

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Michaela is back home, after surgery to explore the tumor in her chest resulted in the removal of the tumor. Pathology reports show it to be another neuroblastoma. It's likely that chemotherapy will start in the next couple of weeks.

Leslie is holding up well, but there are financial pressures that are beginning to take their toll. She had a contract to begin a job at an existing veterinary practice, but that is all on hold until Michaela is through chemo, which will likely inhibit her ability to attend school regularly, or attend a day care center.

I'm helping out in whatever way I can, save for being there, which I feel would likely be the best thing I could do. I have my own child who has seen more than his share of bad times, and being there for him is just as important, if not more so. I appreciate those who have read about this in the past and have offered support and prayer for all concerned. I will update Michaela's story as I can.

*************

Work is tough. It's a tough job to begin with, but as someone very wise once said, if you love what you do it's not really work. Jan's illness and passing have helped to show me that there is more to life than I would otherwise let myself see.

Lately I've felt inadequate to the tasks at hand, and my work has suffered as a result. In recognizing this I've tried to find something a little less stressful, and without the shift work component. No luck so far, but I remain optimistic that something that meets these criteria and still presents a challenge (and, of course, pays the bills) will come my way. When that day comes, it will be bittersweet.

*************

Many local bloggers took time to comment on the most recent criminal lapse in judgment by an employee of School District 51. It's an unfortunate situation for all involved, particularly with the amount of media attention these incidents receive.

To be sure, this is a clear case of an alleged abuse of the public trust and of the relationship between teacher and student. While a measure of media coverage is certainly warranted, I would caution the local media about the dangers of over-exposure or over-commitment of resources. There is a line between informing the public and sensationalism, and that demarcation is being encroached upon ever more closely with each occurrence.

One commenter on the above story stated that this is a much more commonplace occurrence than you would think, and offered some evidence to that effect. It's indeed a shame, but perhaps future media coverage could focus on the reasons, and perhaps give parents some tools to help stay involved in what their child is doing, and recognize the signs of potential trouble. So far the reporting has been fair and informative, with the Free Press going so far as to let the Sheriff's Office arrest affidavit tell most of the story.

I continue to have difficulty understanding the district's public "information" strategy, which was eloquently summarized by Gene Kinsey as;

The fact is, there is no downside for stonewalling. What can happen? Will any supervisor get fired? Will voters remember or care come election time? Will people take their money and their business elsewhere? (Whoops - that's not an option.)

For me, the stonewalling is getting old, and I don't forget. I've attended church with both the Superintendent and Public Information Officer, and they are both honorable men with their hearts in the right place. That being said, the lack of candor and comprehensiveness in the district's public information releases continues to be a matter of concern.

As a GJHS parent, I'm still waiting for a more detailed accounting of the circumstances surrounding the valve failure and subsequent flood that closed the school for two weeks last Thanksgiving, and what corrective measures have been taken to make sure that any future failures of a similar nature will not go undetected for such a lengthy time period. The technology to support that has been in the marketplace for a long time.

Let's hope that the spirit of openness and effective dialogue become more prevalent in our school administration.

*************

My economic stimulus check, if/when it shows up, will go to help pay for the plumber who will be installing a sump pump and some new piping in my basement next week. This will hopefully resolve the backups when I run my washer or drain one of the bathtubs. This is part of the challenge of living in an old house, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I might have to deal with (ugh) covenants. I like living Downtown.

*************

Speaking of Downtown, there were some good things about this week too. I participated in one of the two workshops held jointly by the city and the DDA to try and secure community input about what kinds of land uses would be appropriate for the Downtown of the future, and where those uses should be placed or concentrated.

The exercise was interesting and informative, and the planners involved seemed genuinely interested in what citizens had to say about what kind of development should occur, and where it is most appropriate to happen. I'll have more about this later.

*************

Last but certainly not least, it seems that Powderhorn now has cell phone service to most of the mountain and resort buildings. It's about time.


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I'll start the coming week with church, and with continued prayers for patience, healing, perseverance, and love. God willing it will be a bit better for all concerned.

Spring 'Break' Travelogue

One week ago Friday I left the freezing rain and wind in Denver for the wind-driven snow of Omaha for a job interview. I was dutiful in arriving at DIA an hour and 45 minutes ahead of my departure time, only to be met by a mass of humanity comprised of two of the larger groups of travelers that still appear to be active even in this economy; spring break and collegiate athletes.

This wasn't the college-age spring breakers headed to Florida or Mexico; these were families with several groups of teens and tweens in tow, who seemed hell-bent on packing their entire wardrobes along with them. This made for an interesting combination with the men's and women's track and field teams from the Air Force Academy.

To make a long line short, myself and my luggage barely made it to the plane in time.

I spent a good portion of the day trying to familiarize myself with Omaha and its surroundings, should anything come of my interview, which seemed to go well. That evening I flew to Pittsburgh to spend some time with Leslie and check on my mother, who fell a couple of weeks ago and sustained a shoulder injury.

Leslie's daughter Michaela was looking well at the beginning of the week; she was talkative and somewhat more energetic than she had been in past visits. We enjoyed some springtime activities to go with the sunny, 60-plus degree weather, playing miniature golf and eating ice cream.

By mid-week, however, both the weather and her disposition had changed. Recurrent bouts of nausea and vomiting had us in the ER at Children's Hospital twice, primarily for IV fluids and anti-vomiting drugs to try to keep Michaela from becoming dehydrated. Near the end of the week, she started receiving these fluids and meds at home.

Michaela is due for a follow-up visit at Children's in Philadelphia, which will hopefully show that the MIBG radiation she had earlier this year is beating back the neuroblastoma that she has fought for over 4 years now. Your prayers and kind thoughts are welcome as always.

I was also at a local hospital with my mother, so that she could have an MRI scan of her injured shoulder. The concern here is identifying a need for surgical intervention, and if none is required how much rest and healing is needed before starting any rehabilitation. Either way, the goal is to preserve as much function of the joint as possible.

My Hometown.

Mom's convalescence was further complicated by some type of flu-like illness toward the end of last week. I made a couple of grocery runs for her, and when I left on Saturday she was starting to feel slightly better. I'm hoping that the trend continues for both her and Michaela, and as I make my way back again soon I'll hopefully be able to see some smiles again firsthand.

*****

I extended my visit by a couple of days, and the clamor of Spring Break reared its ugly head again when trying to plan a return trip. In this context I really can't say enough about Southwest Airlines. Their method of operations, efficiency, and level of customer service really stood out on this trip, and they deserve some props for the way that they conduct themselves in an industry that is largely perceived as an essential but nonetheless unpleasant experience.

At a minimum, you can change flights and use the same funds you initially paid without penalty. They charge no baggage fees in the majority of circumstances. If you book far enough ahead of time, their fares are hard to beat. One of their customer service reps spent a good 45 minutes on the phone with me trying to connect the dots from Pittsburgh to Denver without extensive layovers. She was patient, efficient, and knew her stuff.

Southwest's gate operations are as efficient as they can possibly make them. They turn an aircraft around and move people better than just about anyone. They do this with a pleasant disposition and even a sense of humor. An example is below, from a few trips ago:

(Upon touchdown) "And believe it or not, that was his first try..Ladies and gentlemen, we at Southwest Airlines would like to be the first to welcome you to Pittsburgh. Please remain seated, with your seat belts fastened, until Captain America brings us to a screeching halt at the gate."

People seem to get this about Southwest, because nearly every seat was full on every flight this time around. Nice job, folks.

Say what you want about the airline industry. Michael Moore made a few good points about that in his latest film. Yeah, I'm trying to find work in this business, and it's not easy. $10 and hour to dispatch planes in Memphis? How about I just flip burgers in GJ or Denver or Pittsburgh for 9?

And yes, it can be an unpleasant to be intruded upon by our security infrastructure and then stuffed into a 500 MPH sardine can. There are ways to deal with this (see Up In The Air - for more than just this reason), and it helps when simple human decency trumps the unpleasantness of the situation.

In fact, just about everyone I interacted with seemed to be quiet, pleasant, patient, and mindful of others, despite some of the circumstances they were encountering.

Well, not quite everyone...

Have a good week ahead.

Addendum, 3/29/10, 4:40 PM: Today's Denver Post featured a story on the Aircraft Dispatcher training program at Jeppesen that I attended last year. It's a great program, and appears to be available without costs for residents of several metro Denver counties. Reading this will give you an idea about the situation many older workers find themselves in.

Uganda On My Mind

This past week there has been extensive coverage in some media outlets and familiar blogs of the proposed law in Uganda outlawing homosexuality.

Outside of what has been reported, I don't know much about this. My interest in the country of Uganda and the continent of Africa has admittedly been anecdotal, and largely detached from the realities of life there.

I know, or know of, people who have lived in Africa that have recently returned, including Doug and Suzan Scott, Assemblies of God missionaries to South Africa, and former KREX reporter Kate Renner, who has returned from 3 months in Uganda under the auspices of Light Gives Heat, which is based in Western Colorado. One of my former neighbors in the Pittsburgh area is an Episcopal priest, currently serving as Vice Chancellor of Uganda Christian University.

It's heartening to see the level of commitment and faith necessary to engage in something like this. The recent controversy concerning this proposed law led me to think a little bit about the nature of the gay rights movement outside of the US, and the inherent conflict that results from the challenges to established institutions by those who seek to legitimize their sexual orientation. No religious institution has been impacted greater in this area than the Anglican church.

Outside of this particular denomination, the furor that resulted over the Uganda legislation has also touched several evangelical and otherwise conservative Christian leaders here in the US. Most notable among these is Pastor Rick Warren of Saddleback Church in California, known in part for his best-selling book "The Purpose-Driven Life". Pastor Warren issued a statement last week condemning the Ugandan legislation, and attempting to distance himself from the efforts of those that have been associated with him in the past. From the looks of it, Pastor Warren's contrition is not enough for many gay rights organizations that are still seething over his support of California's Proposition 8 last year.

By far the most comprehensive coverage from the mainstream media came from Rachel Maddow of MSNBC. Ms. Maddow, one of the few openly gay members of the MSM, and her staff not only delved into the involvement of American evangelicals in mentoring those in Uganda who have put their weight behind the proposed legislation, but also a group of Americans who believe that homosexuals can be converted to a heterosexual lifestyle, or stop identifying themselves as a member of the gay community. Ms. Maddow interviewed one such individual on her show; I don't think he was too pleased with the outcome.

As a human being, and therefore a sinner, I am not comfortable passing any kind of judgment on an individual based solely on their sexual orientation. I can also see the disdain in our society toward granting civil-rights status to a particular group of people based solely on what they choose to do behind closed doors with a consenting adult. This, to me, is just another consequence of fear without understanding.

Instead, I believe that we need to focus on the actions (or the lack thereof) of individuals in deciding for ourselves what we may think about them. Any number of us can find significant cause to doubt those who we may interact with daily. For me, that starts with the person I look at in the mirror every morning.

If we purport to live a life guided by faith, the tenets of many religions require that we look at our fellow man as God's children, equally deserving of love and compassion as much as anyone else. For Christians, there is plenty of scripture to support this.

The circumstances that we find ourselves or others in, and our level of responsiveness to others in time of need, helps to define who we are as individuals and as a community.

For those in Uganda that I will never know or understand properly, this attempt to label and vilify those first by the nature of who they are is unfortunate and wrong. Yesterday I read that the Ugandan parliament passed legislation outlawing the ritual practice of forced female circumcision. I'm hoping that this law, long overdue, is not just window dressing to try to appease certain people into believing that progress in one area equates to understanding in another.

This travesty is made even more of one when it has been spurned forward by the words and actions, both direct and indirect, of those in our own supposedly civilized country whose personal agendas here have been thwarted by common sense, the earthly rights conveyed to us and protected by our forefathers, and the influence of God's love in its purest form.

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As it happens I have a lot of other things on my mind, not the least of which is Leslie's daughter Michaela, who as I write this is headed back to Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh with a lot of abdominal pain and vomiting. Your thoughts and prayers for comfort and healing, as well as strength for Leslie and her family as Michaela continues the fight against cancer that has taken up half of her young life, are greatly appreciated.

Along with other struggles that seem trivial in comparison to life in an impoverished African nation, or in a fight against a deadly disease, I am nonetheless feeling a sense of hope and understanding that appears to be gaining a foothold in the battle against fear that I struggle with far too often. I hope I can be an instrument of God's peace in the face of these differences and obstacles.

May the Lord's peace be with you as we celebrate His presence in many different ways this month. Have a good week ahead.

Lagging Behind - For a Reason

It's been a busy week.

I was in Pittsburgh from Wednesday of last week until this past Tuesday. I spent most of my visit with Leslie and the girls, mainly accompanying Leslie and Michaela to Children's Hospital for tests and physician visits. I also got see my mother, and take her to lunch to Mother's Day. Leslie and I were able to have dinner together that evening.

Tuesday morning I flew back to Denver through Atlanta on airTran, which offered a very decent fare and also introduced something heretofore unknown to me; wi-fi Internet access in flight. The service was free (and will remain so until May 24), and seemed to work quite well.

I don't think that I would pay for it, though. I'm becoming increasingly aware of the benefits of staying away from the computer, and of the pitfalls of staying wired to the world all the time. This is one reason why I enjoy my time with Leslie; she doesn't have cable, and 'encourages' me to stay away from the computer or the Internet on my phone when we're together. We have movie nights after the kids go to bed. We sit on a porch swing and watch the world go by.

I don't have an explanation for it, but my blood flows differently when I'm with her. She's up to her eyeballs in challenges, none of which seems will get easier anytime soon. Nevertheless, she always makes time to listen, something that I could use some work on. I still feel like I'm jet-lagged, trying to sync the rest of me into this time zone, these patterns, this life. I find that there are distinct advantages and pitfalls to life there and here; trying to focus on the positives of both is an interesting and difficult process.

This isn't to say that positive experiences with the ones you love always include good news. I'm trying to get my head around the latest news that has come from Pittsburgh since I left. I'll have more to say later.

After getting back to GJ late Tuesday, I returned next morning to working at the new Cabela's at Mesa Mall. Grand Opening is next week. I've been training and working there since mid-April, and it's been an interesting and vibrant look into the world of a major retailer. This isn't the first store that I've opened here; back in 2003 I worked part-time at the Borders in Grand Junction when they set up and opened that store.

I worked at Borders because I like the stuff they sell. This isn't the same at Cabela's. I'm decidedly not an outdoors kind of person. There are things there that I have a lot of experience with, primarily related to radio-based technology. However, I have really learned a lot this week about things like knife sharpeners, metal detectors, fish finders, cast iron cookware, and sandals. I'm learning stuff every day; isn't that one of the fundamental things about living a good life?

I'm actually looking forward to the crowds that will be coming through next weekend, but I'm a bit concerned about the traffic and parking situation that is likely to arise. This will be complicated by less than normal available parking spaces due to the mall's annual carnival visit. I may actually take the GVT, or even try to ride my bike if the weather's good.

My thoughts and prayers are elsewhere, which among other reasons is why it's taken so long to sit down and write something. There will be more to write about this part of the journey soon. Right now I'm trying to catch up, while remaining rooted in what really matters.

Enjoy your weekend.

Another Important Day

As I write this, my girlfriend's daughter Michaela is in surgery at Children's Hospital in Pittsburgh. She is having exploratory surgery to attempt to biopsy and possibly remove the tumor that was found in her chest late last month. This operation has the potential to develop into a full open chest procedure, depending on what they find.

I spoke with Leslie this morning, and she is doing pretty well under the circumstances. Leslie is a veterinarian, and her innate understanding of the processes of medicine and science has served her well as a parent and advocate. I wish I was there to help.

Thanks to those of you who have offered prayers and words of support thus far.

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On another somewhat important note, the Grand Junction City Council and Mesa County Commissioners will be meeting this evening at a public hearing to discuss and possibly vote on expansion of the Persigo Sewer District boundary by 26 square miles to the Northwest and Southeast. This equates to expanding the urban growth boundary by 44 percent over its current size.

The meeting starts at 6:00 PM at Two Rivers Convention Center. It will hopefully be a well-attended meeting, as any decision made at the meeting will carry with it significant implications for growth and development in what is now largely agricultural or desert land.

I'm wondering out loud if the meeting will be carried on Channel 12, especially given the need for a larger venue and the potentially controversial subject matter. If not, I would certainly ask why not.

The potential decisions made tonight will have a much more significant impact on the quality of life in our valley than the decision made by City Council last week on one development application in the Redlands. Theoretically, if this addition is approved it could subject a huge portion of the Grand Valley to the same patchwork, seemingly haphazard annexation that currently exists in other areas currently in what is also known as the 201 District, under the requirements of the Persigo Agreement between the City and Mesa County.

If this is a matter of concern to you, then a ride down to Two Rivers might be in order this evening. I'll be thinking about it as I monitor my teenager's activities and await word from back east.

Have a good evening.